Exploring What You Want: Intimacy, Sex, and Connection

This isn’t a quiz. It’s not a worksheet with a right answer.

These are questions to help you start noticing what you want—what you’re drawn to, what feels exciting, and what feels worth trying. You don’t have to answer all of them. You don’t have to write anything down. Just see which ones make you pause.

Some might bring clarity. Others might stir up uncertainty. That’s part of the process.

You’re not deciding your whole future. You’re just noticing what comes up when you ask.

Questions to Consider

  • What kind of connection makes you feel most like yourself?

  • What feels more important right now: comfort, novelty, consistency, intensity?

  • Do you want a romantic relationship? A sexual one? Something in-between?

  • What kind of sex actually leaves you feeling satisfied?

  • What kinds of affection or closeness do you crave that you rarely ask for?

  • What dynamics have made you feel the most desired in the past?

  • What do you wish was easier to ask for?

  • If you could design a date that felt perfect to you, what would it look like?

  • What’s something you’ve never tried but are curious about?

  • What’s something you’ve done before that you don’t want again?

  • What expectations are you holding because you think you’re supposed to?

  • How do you want someone to see your body?

  • What do you want a partner to understand about you without having to explain it every time?

How to Use This

Read through once. Notice what jumps out.

You can:

  • Highlight the ones that spark something

  • Sit with one question for a few days

  • Return later when you’re feeling stuck or uncertain

This is yours to explore at your own pace. You’re not building a plan yet. You’re just giving yourself room to want.

Making Sense of What You Noticed

Once you’ve sat with these questions, take a few minutes to write down anything that feels important. You don’t need full sentences—just fragments, impressions, or key phrases.

Then ask yourself:

  • Do I see any themes in what stood out to me?

  • Did anything surprise me?

  • What do these answers say about what matters to me?

You’re not creating a fixed list of wants. You’re just starting to listen for patterns. The point isn’t to land on one answer—it’s to get closer to what feels true.